Thanksgiving? Thanks for Nothing!

‘Tis the season for thanksgiving!  In a month celebrated by food, family, and naps many of us take time out of our days to list the things in life that we are thankful for. Most of us are thankful for our families, for our loved ones, or for the promotion we just got at work. Not me. I am thankful for those things, but those aren’t the issues right now. No, not this year; especially when it comes to creative endeavors. Sometimes when I paint I feel that I have nothing to be thankful for, artistically.

If you read my last post you know that I have been frustrated with my artwork lately. I once read that it should be considered a good thing if you are not satisfied with your artwork because it means that you are still striving to be better. While I believe that is true, try telling me that when I am knee deep in a canvas sloppily dashed with $50 worth of muddy paint and you are likely to hear a precise list of the things I am most certainly not thankful for. When artistic frustration shows up for me it appears frighteningly quickly. Like an unexpected guest, who despite your best passive-aggressive efforts to show that you are not interested in their presense, frustration shows up in the middle of an otherwise perfectly happy day. Suddenly, with the slightest errant stroke, my painting becomes a fragmented heap of paint that resembles a poor attempt at abstract art instead of the breathtaking sunset that I intended. No longer is this frustration simply the unexpected guest. Like the proverbial bull in the China cabinet, frustration has completely enveloped the entire piece and is now dead set on sabotaging every stroke that touches the canvas until the piece becomes a muddled expression of my desperation. To be sure, this affliction applies not only to myself, but anyone who considers themselves an artist. If you are an artist reading this you know what I mean. In times like these – utter despair – it can be beneficial to take a break. Walk away, work on another piece, scream and kick until you lose your voice and the ability to walk, or just pout. Whatever your modus operandi for dealing with artistic frustration, exercise it. Take it for a walk, but don’t let it lead you. Artistic expression can sometimes lead to frustration, even anxiety. Don’t give in to the demons of creativity lurking within each tube of paint. Believe it or not, even though you may feel like the creative fire that once burned in you has been stamped out to a smoldering pile of artistic dreams there are still things to be thankful for.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch."

 Taking a break from the fruitless struggle to wedge the gap between my mind’s eye and my hand I recently took on an unusual project. And it was in this project that it hit me: instead of wallowing in my current frustrations I should be looking for the positives in my ability, not any current snapshot of my work. For this project I was asked to draw a five feet tall Grinch on a sheet of plywood from a small, 4″ x 6″ character cutout.

Normally, I draw a grid on my reference photo and use that to scale my drawing onto the canvas. I find that this helps me to quickly keep my drawings to scale so I can get to the application of paint. Being that this was a cutout I didn’t have that luxury and I was a little apprehensive because I hadn’t tried to freehand anything the required acurate scaling. Pushing my trepidation aside, I applied the first lonely pencil stroke to the board. Stroke after carefully placed stroke began to etch The Grinch into view, as if I were slowly peeling away the layers of his wooden summer hideout. Stopping only occasionally along the way to get my artistic bearings, I laid the final pencil stroke down and stood back to take stock of what I had accomplished. There, before me, stood a five feet tall wooden Grinch. It was then that I realized I have plenty to be thankful for this season and for all seasons to come. I was blessed with the ability to draw and paint what I see.

There will always be artists whose ability and accomplishments I will never amass but the God-given ability that I was blessed with is mine. No one can take that away from me, and it is entirely mine to cultivate and grow. For that, and for all the frustrations it brings, I am thankful. In times of frustration, seek out what you should be thankful for and give thanks.